Light bulb jokes

How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?

Eleven. One to change it and ten to hold back the powers of darkness.

How many T.V. Evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One -- But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.

How many Reformed Epistemologists does it take to change a light bulb?

1.37. And that requires no justification because it is a properly basic belief.

How many Liberation Theologians does it take to change a light bulb?

None -- They shot it out in the cause of the Christian revolution!

How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?

What's a 'light bulb'?

How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

A hundred and nine: 7 on the Light Bulb Task Force Sub-committee who report to the 12 on the Light Bulb Task Force, appointed by the 15 on the Trustee Board. Their recommendation is reviewed by the Finance Committee Executive of 5, who place it on the agenda of the 18-member Finance committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to the 27-member Church Board, who appoint another 12-member review committee. If they recommend that the Church Board proceed, a resolution is brought to the Congregational Business Meeting. They appoint another 8-member review committee. If their report to the next Congregational Business Meeting supports the changing of the light bulb, and the congregation votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the light bulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board, who in turn appoint a 7-member committee to find the best price on new light bulbs. Their recommendation of which hardware store has the best buy must then be reviewed by the 23-member Ethics Committee to make certain that this hardware store has no connections to Disneyland. They report back to the Trustee Board who then commissions the Trustee in charge of the janitor to ask him to make the change. By which time the janitor has discovered another burned-out globe.

How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?

Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray that their light bulb will be one that has been chosen to be changed soon -- When God is pleased to change the light bulb, he will do it without your help or mine, young man...

How many Roman Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?

They just use candles.

How many independent fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one -- any more might result in too much cooperation.

How many liberal theologians does it take to change a light bulb?

The following statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a new light bulb, or any light bulb at all. However, if in your own journey, you have found that a light bulb helps to realise in a way that is meaningful for you, your own path to... um... enlightenment... we jointly affirm and encourage you in this personal quest. Would that in this dark, confusing world, more took the time aside to perhaps reflect on these deeper truths. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about the role of the light bulb (or light source, or non-dark resource) in your own walk of faith, and present it next month at our annual Bulb Sunday service, in which we explore a number of light-bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted -- all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence, and richly steeped in history, fond memory and tradition."

How many Youth Pastors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hard to tell. They seem to burn out faster than the bulbs.